Enough Factor Podcast

S1-E16: When ‘For Worse’ Is The Death Of Your Marriage

June 30, 2019

Joining in our Recovering From Divorce Series is none other than Co-Host Dating Commentator Troy Vaughan.  In their old school meets new school style, Troy and Suzette go in the ring to go round for round about this question: Why do folks exchange the wedding vows, "for better, for worse...til death us do part" and, with all that said, still get divorced?   

Troy and Suzette discuss:

  • Does single really mean single...period?
  • Do women feel pressured to get married?
  • Do most people exit marriage prematurely?
  • Til death us do part is not created equal
  • The 50-50 marriage proposition: 50% of marriage ends in divorce
  • Why talking is not necessarily communicating

Things that made us go hmmm

From Troy:

“What side of the ring are you on? Are you trying to get inside the wedding ring or are you trying to get out.”

“If I'm in a relationship, if I'm dating someone exclusively, if I have a woman that I'm sharing time and space with, then I am not a single man.”

“Some couples will divorce because of infidelity. other couples feel like, well, infidelity is bad, but it's not 'the worse.' ”

“ There are a lot of happy pictures of a lot of happy couples that are miserable together, but they know how to do a great presentation on social media.”

From Suzette:

“We think sometimes that until death us do part means, you know until you transition until you pass until you die...But death can be whatever that thing is that is your deal breaker.”

“Troy, do you think that as a culture, we're more in love with the idea of marriage than marriage itself?"

“You got to retrain yourself, instead of being attracted to an unavailable man, find out what available men do.”

References Mentioned

 About Troy

Troy Vaughan is a rising persona in Atlanta, quickly becoming a notable speaker and entrepreneur. Pragmatic, electric, and relatable, Troy’s energy and point-of-view on topics germane to divorce survivorship and transformation, dating communications, entrepreneurship, and thriving with a chronic illness has made him a promising motivational speaker and thought leader. A former patient of St. Jude’s, he is a native of Memphis, Tennessee; holding a B.A. from Morehouse College as well as an MPH from Morehouse School of Medicine. His catch phrase “Achieve with a Vengeance”, a message of unyielding determination and staunch self-efficacy in the face of adversity, is both inspiring as well as galvanizing. He is the co-founder of a widely growing organization and online community, RING|SIDE, where men and women enter the ring to debate issues like chronic singlehood, marriage, and divorce.

Enoughness Reminder

When you get to a certain age and you've not gotten married, there is pressure to tie the knot.  Everybody is asking you when you're going to get married.  Even if they aren't asking you directly, it's in the looks they give or the hush-hush when you walk into the room.  It's hard to hold on to feelings of enoughness when these actions alone question it.  This is where you have to know that it's not who you are coupled with, but who you are that makes you enough.  People come and go, but you still remain.  

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

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