Enough Factor Podcast
S1-E24: Nothing To Prove, Everything To Be

S1-E24: Nothing To Prove, Everything To Be

August 25, 2019

Do you feel compelled to defend yourself when you feel you've been done wrong?  When you enter a new situation, do you feel you need to prove yourself?  In this, her 24th episode, Suzette concludes Season One with an honest examination of what motivates our responses.

Sharing from her own experience, Suzette raises the most important question:  WHO ARE YOU?  Not the you who feels threatened or the you who feels he or she has  something to prove, but the you whose presence requires no validation. 

In her thoughtful and penetrating style, Suzette explains why: 

  • the who behind who you are has nothing to prove, but everything to be
  • the invitation to the room qualifies you to be in it
  • the struggle isn't with others as much as it is with yourself
  • writing a different definition of what makes you enough is essential

...and much more

More About Suzette

On March 17th, Suzette started her podcaster journey. At the time, she knew nothing about podcasting except she wanted a platform where she could speak to a broader audience.  Everyone who has downloaded, subscribed and commented have been an integral part of her journey. Together, you've downloaded this podcast 943 times! Not too shabby for Season One!

She's taking a break for a few months, but look for Season Two the Spring of 2020.  In the interim, she and her team will be talking to subscribers and listeners to hear about what they enjoyed, what they didn't, and what topics they'd like to see featured as well as exploring other ways to make this podcast even more relevant.  

Things that made me go hmmm

"I created this situation because I didn't know my value so I let my insecurity bully me into submitting."

"When you're trapped in a mindset of performance, you don't really know the difference between the performer you and the Being you."

"You are not what you do, you are the brilliance behind it."

"When someone asks 'who are you,' it's how you answer the 'I am' that makes all the difference."  

"The struggles as well as the celebrations are to help you to get clearer and clearer about the everything that you bring into this life space."

"If Life offers you the seat, Life has already decided that you belong.  It's your work to find out why Life offered you the seat.  Because if you don't do the work to find out why Life offered you the seat, you will not fully own your space."

References Mentioned

India.Aire song "I Am Light"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL-gxfx2QtY

"What follows I am is what will be."--Joel Olsteen (His book, The Power of I Am, https://www.amazon.com/Power-Am-Words-Change-Today/dp/0892969989)

Enoughness Reminder

You don't need to prove your enoughness, you simply have to own it.  

Tired of doing love and relationships the same way?

Check out our free "Relationship Behavior Questionnaire" at  bit.ly/DoLoveDifferently .  While there, check out ways we help you own your seat.

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join us at Enough Factor Connect at www.facebook.com/groups/enoughfactorconnect.

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy! Go to www.suzettesolutions.com/ourpodcast to "Want To Be A Guest"! and someone from our team with contact you!

Thank you for listening!

Credits

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services, LLC https://www.facebook.com/odysseyadministrativeservices

Photo from the gallery of royalty free photo options on Pixteller.com

 

S1-E23: “I was enough all along!”

S1-E23: “I was enough all along!”

August 18, 2019

For a long time, Tandee Salter felt she wasn't enough and she didn't deserve success.  She was bullied for being a nerd, preferring to go the library over going to recess and it went down from there.  Her confidence suffered with one devastating rejection after another culminating with going through a divorce. 

At the time of this interview, there had been a lot of suicides and accidental deaths in the entertainment world.  Kristoff St. John was one of them.  Tandee expressed a willingness to share about her own bouts with grief and depression in hopes of helping others struggling in silence.  

Tandee shared:

  • The value of having a therapist
  • How slowing down and journaling helps her through the rough patches
  • How finding her path in business and working with clients helped reinforce not just that she is enough, but she was always enough

Tandee and Suzette talk about mindset and how it is key to recovery.  Reflecting on our most powerful connections, they talked about:

  • Friendship and what we should and shouldn't expect from friends
  • Why people fall away when we go through difficult seasons
  • The importance of connecting authentically in business

As a business strategist and copy writer, Tandee helps clients find their voice and put it in copy.  She does it by:

  • Helping them connect with the meaning behind the words
  • Deconstructing their biggest fears and helping them see their own abilities
  • Getting in their space so she can capture their authentic voice and bring it to their content

More About Tandee

Tandee Salter a native of Columbus, GA is a Certified Life and Master Business Success Coach. She the #1 Amazon Best Selling Author of Inhale Confidence 21 Days of Affirmations for the Millennial Woman and co-author of best selling book 20 Beautiful Women Volume 2. Tandee holds degrees in paralegal studies, sociology, and public administration.
 
While having achieved many things, Tandee has battled with grief and depression, gone through a divorce, and felt unworthy of success. However she has overcome those obstacles and more. She now uses her education and experience to pour into other women so they can reach their highest potential.
 
In her free time Tandee can be found reading, binge watching Netflix, and spending time with family and friends. And let's not forget she loves to enjoy her snacks. 

Things that made me go hmm

From Tandee:

"I was enough all along.  I was always enough."

"Everyone needs a therapist"

"Words are powerful and can take you to different levels"

"Authenticity is more than a catch phrase"

From Suzette:

"Just because people love us doesn't mean they have the grace to go in those dark places that we have to go."

"This isn't the same thing.  You're at a whole different level"

References Mentioned:

Tandee Salter Website  www.tandeesalter.com

Tandee Salter Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/tandeesalter/

Success Igniters Group  https://www.facebook.com/groups/successigniters

Tandee Salter Instagram  www.instagram.com/tandeesalter

Authentic Influence Entrepreneur Growth Membership https://gumroad.com/l/sakpX

Enoughness Reminder

Says Tandee, "Remember you are already enough.  And you don't have to be conformed to anything society says you have to be."

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join us at Enough Factor Connect at www.facebook.com/groups/enoughfactorconnect.

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy! Go to www.suzettesolutions.com/ourpodcast to "Want To Be A Guest"! and someone from our team with contact you!

 

Thank you for listening!

Credits

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services, LLC https://www.facebook.com/odysseyadministrativeservices

Photo from the gallery of royalty free photo options on Pixteller.com

 

S1-E22: Developing An Enough Mindset…”It Starts Within”

S1-E22: Developing An Enough Mindset…”It Starts Within”

August 11, 2019

When you ask Laci An McLean how she has powered through not having all the tools to becoming a leader in the virtual assistance industry, she'll say these three words:  It starts within. Everything starts within.  Jamaican born, Laci credits her work ethic and can-do attitude to her father who modeled for her the values of business, something she is just as passionate about imparting to her children.  

With over 2000 courses created, she is clear about her intention and her purpose.  She shares:

  • how she has methodically and intentionally worked towards her goals and enlisted her children in the journey
  • how she is equipping her children with transferable skills, values and ethics
  • the research was a gamechanger and how it has taught her things that academia didn't
  • what makes her virtual assistance business relevant to this day and age
  • how she leads and inspires her team with her "lead from within" philosophy
  • creative ways she and her business are giving back in her community and teaching others the mindset and tools to navigate the online world 

...and much more

More About Laci An

After over 10 years in the Office Administration industry, Jamaica born, Laci An McLean decided to alter her direction by trying to work from home.  She went on an incredible learning quest, learning EVERYTHING she possibly could and discovered something.  She absolutely LOVED being a Virtual Assistant!  With her strong work ethic and a passion to help others, Laci created a Virtual Assistance Business and built an amazing team.  Her "it starts within" philosophy as well as a knack for business has helped her overcome barriers and forge a path that her children can follow.  

Things that made me go hmmm

From Laci An:

"I can't do it, but I can learn."

"Don't compare your Day 1 to someone else's Day 1053!"

"[She and her children] We get to bond and we get to make money at the same time."

"Knowledge can help you respond a lot quicker."

From Suzette:

"If you don't teach your children to do what you did to have that lifestyle, you're setting them up with a hunger for something without the knowledge of how to feed themselves."

"There is so much information out there that you really can train yourself to have what it is you want for yourself.  You don't have to wait on somebody else.  You can go get it.  It's right out there!"

"And that's the hero's journey finding out that what you've been looking for you already are."

References Mentioned

Laci An McLean Facebook Page

Laci An McLean Official Website

McLean Virtual Office Website

Online Career Academy Website

Work From Home-Online Career Academy Facebook Group

Enoughness Reminder

Says Laci An, "If you get into those ruts where you feel like you have The Imposter Syndrome or you aren't quite cutting it in the areas you wish you were, just remember, keep working on yourself, working on your confidence, working on your issues that you think you have, the important bits.  You can work to that point where you can start to feel like you're enough."

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join us at Enough Factor Connect at www.facebook.com/groups/enoughfactorconnect.

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy! Go to www.suzettesolutions.com/ourpodcast to "Want To Be A Guest"! and someone from our team with contact you!

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.

Thank you for listening!

Credits

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services, LLC https://www.facebook.com/odysseyadministrativeservices

Photo from the gallery of royalty free photo options on Pixteller.com

 

S1-E21: Bad To Da Bone: Unapologetically The Boss & The Lady

S1-E21: Bad To Da Bone: Unapologetically The Boss & The Lady

August 4, 2019

Spend 5 minutes with LaDawn Townsend and you can't help feel your inner badass rise up and say "YES!"  She's bad to da bone: every bit the Boss and every bit the Lady!  And she's unapologetic about it!  That struck me!  For you see, LaDawn and I share the belief that you don't have to give up one for the other.  She can give straight no chaser advice to a Fortune 100 CEO yet appreciate it when a gentleman opens the car door for her.

In our episode, she speaks candidly about that and:  

  • the realization that what was defining her wasn't who she wanted to be
  • finding balance between being the boss and being the lady
  • asking the question, "Do we really want it all or do we want what is intended for us?"
  • why running things comes naturally for women and isn't a "masculine" quality
  • standing in your own power doesn't mean you deny someone else their's

...and much more

For the woman who wants to be respected in the boardroom without betraying herself, this episode is a must listen!

More About LaDawn

A Southern California native, LaDawn is a Revenue Growth Strategist and Professional Speaker with over 20 years of hands-on experience delivering results to Fortune 100 companies along with both small and medium businesses.

Her work has resulted in:

  • 50% reduction in operating expenses
  • Save $1.1 million in annual payroll
  • 47% improvement in logistics operations and shipping time frames

LaDawn is trained in Six Sigma Green Belt process improvement and Technology Project Management, delivering quantifiable results for her clients.  After surviving a major corporate layoff, she pulled herself back up and now offers her insights to business owners seeking to increase revenues and streamline processes thereby helping them avoid the layoff trap.

Things that made me go hmmm

From LaDawn:

"But the biggest piece of what I wanted when I quit, when the job quit me, I wanted to get back to the softness of being who I am."

"I'm a businesswoman.  Don't take out the woman"

"It is completely okay for me to show up and be bad to da bone and you know that I'm a lady. And there's nothing wrong with that."

"What kind of woman do you want to be?  Please define that for yourself. Because if you do not, it will be defined for you."

" I remember specifically praying, I want you to bring it even if it hurts my feelings, even if it hurts me, even if I have to stretch and grow."

"I did not want a vision board anymore. I wanted the life that was on the board."

"When you're leading a team, when you're leading customers, when you're doing anything else, trust me, the things you think you are trying to hide, or you're trying to push down and not addressing your own personal development will come up 10 times."

References Mentioned

The VOS Group Official Website  https://www.thevosgroup.com/  

LaDawn Townsend Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/ladawntownsendloveyourlife 

LaDawn Townsend Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/ladawntownsend

Gary Keller Website  https://www.kellerink.com/

The One Thing (Gary Keller)  https://www.the1thing.com

Enoughness Reminder

Says LaDawn, " I needed to listen to the small voice that was saying, 'Okay, now you're ready to hear what you want your life to be.' And it was scary. Because no one else around me was doing that. Everything was status quo, right? Everything was like you had to live in the suburbs, do this or do that, or date 50 people and none of them work. And then you complain to your girlfriend, you watch some reality show that doesn't make sense. And then you follow somebody on Instagram, that you know their waist is not that small, that it's totally photoshopped, like all of this stuff. And I just said no. I'm going to listen to me and create the life I want. And that is really the key."

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join us at Enough Factor Connect at www.facebook.com/groups/enoughfactorconnect.

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy! Go to www.suzettesolutions.com/ourpodcast to "Want To Be A Guest"! and someone from our team with contact you!

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.

Thank you for listening!

Credits

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services, LLC https://www.facebook.com/odysseyadministrativeservices

Photo from the gallery of royalty free photo options on Pixteller.com

S1-E20:  Take A Leap Into The Uncomfortable

S1-E20: Take A Leap Into The Uncomfortable

July 28, 2019

Has your life become boring, regular, predictable?  Does your 9 to 5 pay the bills, but leave little time for you?  While having predictability in my life makes me feel safe, I have had to admit that "comfortable" is becoming uncomfortable.  There's a longing in my heart for more!

Rachel Gilmore had a longing in her heart.  She wanted to travel the world.  But, like many, she didn't have the money. Yet, so deep was that longing, she created a vision board with Bali and Thailand on it. Imagine the shock and awe she felt when she won $10,000 in travel money!  That was four years ago!  Since that time, Rachel has traveled to Bali multiple times, Thailand and other places she use to dream of.  And get this, she now takes others with her on Earth and Soul Adventures.   

With her message to take a leap into the uncomfortable, Rachel has discovered what living is all about.  In our episode, she shares:  

  • The power of manifesting and what she did that manifested her soul's desire to travel
  • How in her experiences of raw, pure fear she discovered just how powerful she was and that she could conquer any fear in her life
  • The awakening of her own deep, abiding beauty while standing in awe of the beauty that surrounded her in the places she traveled
  • What you can accomplish when you get comfortable in being uncomfortable

...and much more

Rachel's is a story of no longer letting her fears stop her from living the life of her dreams. Listening to her story will lift you from the mundane, the ordinary, the safe, the comfortable to the exciting life just waiting for you to leap into it.

More About Rachel

Rachel Gilmore is an international speaker, author and coach.  As founder of Earth and Soul Adventures, Rachel leads transformational travel adventures around the world, teaching people how to become the greatest versions of themselves in order to do their greatest work and make an impact in the world.

Things that made me go hmmm

From Rachel:

"Being uncommon is having enough courage to face your fears."

"We meet people everyday who are miserable because they are afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of taking the jump and taking the risk and going after what they want."

"Chasing sunsets is the ultimate freedom."

"Try different things, get uncomfortable and figure out what lights you up."

References Mentioned

Rachel Gilmore Official Website  https://www.loveleaderstribe.com/

Rachel Gilmore Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/rachelgilmorespeaker

Rachel Gilmore Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/earthandsouladventures/

Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy The Odds by  Goggins  https://davidgoggins.com/book/ 

Rachel's two co-authored books:

The Unstoppable Woman of Purpose by Nella Chikwe  https://www.amazon.com/UNSTOPPABLE-WOMAN-PURPOSE-Unstoppable-Anthologies-ebook/dp/B0723CRJ4H

Success Secrets for Today's Feminine Entrepreneur by Dr. Anita M. Jackson  https://www.amazon.com/Success-Secrets-Todays-Feminine-Entrepreneurs/dp/1619845709

Enoughness Reminder

Says Rachel, "The biggest thing I would love for people to do is get outside of their comfort zone. I mean, for me, it's become comfortable for me to get uncomfortable. I asked a lot of people, 'What brings you the most joy?' And they don't know how to answer that question. So I'm going to invite everybody to discover what brings you the most joy. And if you don't, if you don't know, go try something you've never tried before. You know, go for a hike, go rock climbing, go, just find something."

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join us at Enough Factor Connect at www.facebook.com/groups/enoughfactorconnect.

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy! Go to www.suzettesolutions.com/ourpodcast to "Want To Be A Guest"! and someone from our team with contact you!

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.

Thank you for listening!

Credits

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services, LLC https://www.facebook.com/odysseyadministrativeservices

Photo from the gallery of royalty free photo options on Pixteller.com

S1-E19: Broken Open: The Journey From Grief To Purpose

S1-E19: Broken Open: The Journey From Grief To Purpose

July 21, 2019

Am I stuck in grief? This was the question Catherine McNulty asked herself when someone told her she was.  It had been 2 years since her infant son died yet sadness and depression were her constant companions. Grief had become her new normal.

Normally, I don't walk around thinking about grief. In fact, I honestly try to avoid it.  But within the last two weeks, at least three people I know have buried a parent. And within the last couple of years, I've gone to more funerals than I've ever wanted to. Though my conversation with Catherine was taped some time ago, it could not be more timely.  

Catherine McNulty is a Grief Coach, something that she so desperately needed when she found herself in the throes of grief.  She was stuck and didn't know how to find her way out of the sadness, the overwhelm, the hopelessness.  Desperate for help, she looked for resources.  There were books that told her about the stages but no "manual" to navigate her out. She created her own manual. 

Through her desperate quest to find hope, Catherine discovered that:

  • With a broader context of grief, you can move through it to a greater experience of life
  • You can channel your pain to something that honors your loved one
  • Counseling can get you on the path.  Having someone who has gone into the unknown as a guide can help you navigate the unknowns of the path
  • Your grief doesn't have to lead to suffering.  You can feel the pain and move through it to purpose.

Hers is a story of being broken open--going from stuck in grief to finding purpose on the other side of it.  Now, she helps others do the same.  

More About Catherine

After losing her infant son in 2011, Catherine embarked on a journey to do more than survive grief.  The loss forever changed the trajectory of her life and sent her looking for meaning and purpose for the life she was given. She channeled the love for her son into her own healing, self-growth and personal empowerment.  

Today, she has created a framework to grief that disrupts conventional ways of looking at loss. She challenges her clients to step outside of a victim mindset and regain control of how they navigate grief.  She teaches how to grow through grief and encourages speaking openly about grief to break down the walls of silence around grief.

Catherine lives in San Diego wit her family where she speaks, writes and offers coaching to those who wat to do more than just survive grief.   She is a board member of Empty Cradle and volunteers at Miracle Babies and The Ronald McDonald House.  Her business, Grief INSPIRED supports those who are grieving and guides them to create a new normal that honors the ones they've lost.

Things that made me go hmmm:

From Catherine:

"I was going through the motions. And I'd go through my day and I went to work and I did all those things. But I really wasn't living."

"Why is there not a manual for this? I looked and I looked and I could not find what I personally needed."

"We don't talk about grief as a society...and so we don't know how to deal with it."

"It is very easy, and often understandable, to sit in your loss and feel like a victim and say 'My life is over.' And that's one route that you can take. But what I stand for is a different route that's saying, 'Let's work through this...Let's figure it out.' " 

"The reason why we are here is really to uncover who we really are, and what our what our gift to the world is."

References Mentioned:

Grief INSPIRED Website https://griefinspired.com

The Gifts of Grief Book https://www.amazon.com/GIFTS-GRIEF-Grief-Unwanted-Changed/dp/1539385248

Grief INSPIRED Facebook Group  https://www.facebook.com/groups/257805561235106

Grief INSPIRED YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6dVH-N7WGAivV19oh4UtDw

Grief INSPIRED Twitter  https://twitter.com/Grief_Inspired

Enoughness Reminder

Says Catherine, "I think the takeaway is I really want you to know what to do. When grief happens to you. You don't necessarily need to be a victim, there is another way. So come to me and I will help you do that. And when it happens to someone that you love, someone that you know experiences a loss, don't be afraid to step in and be courageous enough to say, to say, 'I don't know what to say, but I'm here with you.' Don't avoid it. I know it can be hard, but those people will really, really appreciate you if you don't just avoid them. So step into it, and just say, 'I don't know how to help. But I want to help.' "

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join us at Enough Factor Connect at www.facebook.com/groups/enoughfactorconnect.

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy! Go to www.suzettesolutions.com/ourpodcast to "Want To Be A Guest"! and someone from our team with contact you!

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.

Thank you for listening!

Credits

Music by DH The Composer https://linktr.ee/dhthecomposer

Cover Design by Odyssey Administrative Services, LLC https://www.facebook.com/odysseyadministrativeservices

Photo from the gallery of royalty free photo options on Pixteller.com

S1-E18: Transitioning Out of Brokenness

S1-E18: Transitioning Out of Brokenness

July 14, 2019

What got broken?  This was a question I asked podcast guest, Chatela Monae, as we talked about why she is in the process of divorcing her husband.  What struck me was her determined intention to take care of herself during the process, first.  Something that many women don't do and as a result come out of their divorces bitter, fractured and afraid to trust a man again. 

In this, the last in our Recovering From Divorce Series, Chatela tells us a story all too common. The story of rushing into marriage thinking that the same smarts you bring to books will translate to relationships.  That, because a man asks you to marry him, he recognizes your value and wants to marry you for all the right reasons.  The belief that if you pray long and hard that somehow God is going to fix what's broken and save your marriage.

Despite Chatela's pending divorce, each day she chooses to take the path of wholeness.  In this episode, she shares how she is transitioning out of brokenness by:

  • Recognizing that the big emptiness inside of her was there before she got married and was not her husband's doing
  • Accepting that her beliefs about herself, love and men were shaped by people. Not by her.
  • Finding her esteem on the other side of her head: on the other side of making straight A's
  • Allowing her pain to come full circle
  • Understanding that an emotional void cannot be filled by another person

...and much more

Things that made us go hmmm

From Chatela

"What I've realized is having low self esteem is also not understanding your worth and your value."

"You can't take a broken woman and a broken man and have this wholesome, fulfilling relationship.  It just doesn't work that way."

"Who you decide to join your life with, they have the potential to bring you closer or further away from your life's purpose."

"I never wanted a broken family. But I realized just because a family stays together doesn't mean it's not broken."

"Ultimately, I can't be angry at anyone else for being them."

"I think we genuinely do hear things from God, we just don't understand the context of what he's saying."

"You are so infinitely special!"

From Suzette

"I don't believe submission means now I'm relegated to the deaf, dumb and blind section...that sounds a lot like slavery."

"You were so enough that God, Your Higher Consciousness, the Universe, gave the ultimate sacrifice for you. Don't you think God would have concern about you being in something that is hurting you, harming you, causing you to question your value?"

"It's a difference in being loved by your dad, as his daughter, and how your dad shows up as a husband.  Only my mom could be married to my dad.  Not me."

"But I think the grace is that you have grace to be with that person."

References Mentioned

Netflix Movie starring Sanaa Lathan:  Nappily Ever After  https://theglowup.theroot.com/nappily-ever-after-sanaa-lathans-netflix-original-unta-1828094162

Chatela Monae Website  http://chatelamonae.life/

Chatela Monae YouTube  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCULaMd6CZtF0K4_4FZBnVxA

Chatela Monae Instagram http://bit.ly/ChatelaMonaeIG

Mommie Mogul Group http://bit.ly/MommieMogulGroup

Email: hello@chatelamonae.life

You Asked? Good Men Answered! Virtual Summit Website  www.goodmenanswered.com

You Asked? Good Men Answered! Facebook Page www.facebook.com/goodmenanswered

About Chatela

Chatela was born and raised by her mother in the small town of Gainesville, GA.  Growing up, she took her education very seriously which led her to attend not only public but private and even boarding schools.  This was an area she always excelled in, so that giftedness along with her hard work afforded her the opportunity to attend the University of Georgia.  For two years, she was well on the route to medical school, conducting undergraduate research and even teaching science through a STEM program at a local elementary school.  However, after some soul searching, she felt this was not her true calling and switched to fashion merchandising.  Ultimately this change did not bring about the clarity she had hoped for and it has taken until recently to better understand what she's called to do in this life. 

While she was on maternity leave, after obtaining her real estate license, she went to work for an investment real estate firm.  She started a YouTube channel for entrepreneurial mothers.  It was during this time that she became clear about her passion.  It was serving inspiration to other women so they can see the light within themselves. Just the same, she completely lost sight of the power within herself which led her on a very intentional spiritual journey.  She has made many ground breaking revelations. One of which to separate from her husband. Another, to become a holistic health coach. 

Chatela takes it one day at a time.  She's finding a new normal, intentionally pushing beyond her comfort zones and continuing to cultivate the light within so she can help heal the world one person at a time.

Enoughness Reminder

Says Chatela, "It's just so important to get to a place where you just do the inner work.  And just realize you are enough.  I just want to scream it from the rooftops.  YOU ARE ENOUGH! And it doesn't take somebody else to validate you.  Or to give you that validation.  You have that within you.  You are infinitely special."

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join other Enough Warriors at Enough Factor Connect.  

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy!  Click here and someone from our team will contact you! 

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.  

Thank you for listening!

Credits

S1-E17: Removing the Stigma So You Can Enjoy Sex

S1-E17: Removing the Stigma So You Can Enjoy Sex

July 7, 2019

Good girls don't, bad girls do?  Guess again!  Good girls talk about sex.  In fact, good girls want to enjoy sex too! This episode is all about sexual freedom a topic near and dear to our guest's heart. For Leah Carey spent 42 years mired in shame, laying on her back during intercourse, staring up at the proverbial ceiling waiting for it to be over.  She didn't know she could ask for what she wanted so she endured what she didn't want.

In this episode, you'll feel like you're at the table sipping wine with girlfriends Leah and Suzette as they have a candid conversation about:

  • stigmas surrounding enjoying sex and why they should be removed
  • the difference between a sexual communication coach, sex therapist and sex coach
  • things we don't want to admit to ourselves about our sexual desires
  • the limited and sometimes disingenuous information we've been fed about what normal sex looks like

...and much more

Things that made us go hmmm

From Leah:

“For me, sex, it was never about my pleasure. It was about fulfilling my partner's needs.”

“Oh, so what you're saying is that you can be a good girl and enjoy having sex?”

“How much energy do you end up expending by trying to cover up this really essential part of you?

"I hear from women and men there is some fear around looking at the places in their sex lives that don't work."

From Suzette:

“For a very long time, the reason I didn't know how to communicate what I wanted was because I wasn't in touch with my body. You don't know what makes you feel good.”

“And then you're afraid if you show you are having that good a time, the guy will go, 'Wait a minute. She's loose'."

“How do you ask for what you want without offending your man?”

References Mentioned

About Leah

Leah Carey is a sexual communication coach who helps women learn to communicate about sex so they can get what they really want in the bedroom - rather than just accepting (tolerating) what they're given.  She is the creator and host of the podcast "Good Girls Talk About Sex."  Spending most of her life being a VERY good girl, sexual freedom is a subject that is deeply personal to Leah for most of the sex she had was either boring or painful. But she endured it because she wanted the cuddling that happened after.  She is now passionate about breaking the silence, fear and shame around women's sexuality and pleasure and redefining what it means to be a "good girl."

Enoughness Reminder

You are enough to have sex and to enjoy sex.  No stigma's.  No shame.  You were created to have sexual pleasure and to enjoy the having. 

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join other Enough Warriors at Enough Factor Connect.  

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy!  Click here and someone from our team will contact you! 

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.  

Thank you for listening!

Credits

S1-E16: When ‘For Worse’ Is The Death Of Your Marriage

S1-E16: When ‘For Worse’ Is The Death Of Your Marriage

June 30, 2019

Joining in our Recovering From Divorce Series is none other than Co-Host Dating Commentator Troy Vaughan.  In their old school meets new school style, Troy and Suzette go in the ring to go round for round about this question: Why do folks exchange the wedding vows, "for better, for worse...til death us do part" and, with all that said, still get divorced?   

Troy and Suzette discuss:

  • Does single really mean single...period?
  • Do women feel pressured to get married?
  • Do most people exit marriage prematurely?
  • Til death us do part is not created equal
  • The 50-50 marriage proposition: 50% of marriage ends in divorce
  • Why talking is not necessarily communicating

Things that made us go hmmm

From Troy:

“What side of the ring are you on? Are you trying to get inside the wedding ring or are you trying to get out.”

“If I'm in a relationship, if I'm dating someone exclusively, if I have a woman that I'm sharing time and space with, then I am not a single man.”

“Some couples will divorce because of infidelity. other couples feel like, well, infidelity is bad, but it's not 'the worse.' ”

“ There are a lot of happy pictures of a lot of happy couples that are miserable together, but they know how to do a great presentation on social media.”

From Suzette:

“We think sometimes that until death us do part means, you know until you transition until you pass until you die...But death can be whatever that thing is that is your deal breaker.”

“Troy, do you think that as a culture, we're more in love with the idea of marriage than marriage itself?"

“You got to retrain yourself, instead of being attracted to an unavailable man, find out what available men do.”

References Mentioned

 About Troy

Troy Vaughan is a rising persona in Atlanta, quickly becoming a notable speaker and entrepreneur. Pragmatic, electric, and relatable, Troy’s energy and point-of-view on topics germane to divorce survivorship and transformation, dating communications, entrepreneurship, and thriving with a chronic illness has made him a promising motivational speaker and thought leader. A former patient of St. Jude’s, he is a native of Memphis, Tennessee; holding a B.A. from Morehouse College as well as an MPH from Morehouse School of Medicine. His catch phrase “Achieve with a Vengeance”, a message of unyielding determination and staunch self-efficacy in the face of adversity, is both inspiring as well as galvanizing. He is the co-founder of a widely growing organization and online community, RING|SIDE, where men and women enter the ring to debate issues like chronic singlehood, marriage, and divorce.

Enoughness Reminder

When you get to a certain age and you've not gotten married, there is pressure to tie the knot.  Everybody is asking you when you're going to get married.  Even if they aren't asking you directly, it's in the looks they give or the hush-hush when you walk into the room.  It's hard to hold on to feelings of enoughness when these actions alone question it.  This is where you have to know that it's not who you are coupled with, but who you are that makes you enough.  People come and go, but you still remain.  

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join other Enough Warriors at Enough Factor Connect.  

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy!  Click here and someone from our team will contact you!.  

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.  .  

Thank you for listening!

Credits

S1-E15: I had no idea how to overcome failure!

S1-E15: I had no idea how to overcome failure!

June 23, 2019

Tiffany Green and her husband were the picture perfect couple: smart, attractive and, by all intents and purposes, the quintessential couple.  Even, their families adored each other.  Theirs should have been the ultimate happily ever after story! Yet after 3 1/2 years of marriage, Tiffany called it quits. Up until this point, she had never failed at anything but here she was with a failed marriage and had no idea how to overcome this failure! This third episode in our Recovering From Divorce Series chronicles Tiffany's journey to the real answers she was seeking and the real resolution her soul required.  

In this episode, Tiffany shares:

  • The false reality of success
  • How she overcame the shame and guilt of failure
  • One of the worst things you can do when someone is going through a divorce
  • The importance of embracing the loneliness instead of trying to avoid it
  • What her divorce taught her about herself

Things that made us go hmmm

From Tiffany:

“I needed to go through this feeling of loneliness to get back to the feeling of being okay.”

“You realize God loves you more than this marriage, right?”

“People normally shame [others] when they feel like there's a loophole that they're missing.”

“But when you have done all the work - and you have owned your narrative, and you take out the shame, and the anger and the guilt, and whatever else you're holding on to - nothing you say to anyone or nothing that they say to you can really, like, take you out.”

From Suzette:

“So many of us stay in relationships too long, not because we don't know necessarily that it’s toxic, but because of the shame.”

“When you're married, you're so busy giving out that you don't realize the person that's been waiting for you to pay attention is you."

“I'm kind of struggling with calling it [divorce] a failure. Because look at who you've become as a result.”

About Tiffany Green

Tiffany is a native of New Haven, Connecticut. She earned a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Connecticut and a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology at Howard University in Washington DC.  After graduating from Howard University, she joined the First-Year Success Center team at the University of New Haven where she was a counselor helping first-year college students adjust to the rigors of college. After 5 years at the University of New Haven, she took a job with Achievement First Amistad High School in New Haven. She now works at an amazing project and place-based high school called, Think Global School (TGS), as a school counselor. TGS takes students to 12 countries over a 3-year high school career to learn experientially, engage in community service and experience the various cultures encountered firsthand.

References Mentioned:

Enoughness Reminder

Sometimes life hits you up side your head and leaves you dazed and confused, and those who love you most can’t understand.  Sadly, that happens all too often.  At those times, the only thing you have is an inner knowing, an inner knowing that there’s got to be something better out there for you.  That’s enough though for your Inner Guide is always wise.  If you dare to stay the path, it’ll give you what you need to overcome your current circumstance and be better on the other side. 

What were your aha moments? We'd love to hear them!

To dive more deeply into today's episode or to get answers to specific questions, join other Enough Warriors atEnough Factor Connect..  

Interested in being a guest?

We've made it easy peasy!  Click here and someone from our team will contact you!.  

Interested in up leveling your relationship?

Gain access into the male psyche as both relationship experts and regular good men talk about men, love and relationships at my YOU ASKED? GOOD MEN ANSWERED! Virtual Summit! This year's theme: The Power of A Good Woman. Learn more/register at www.goodmenanswered.com.  .  

Thank you for listening!

Credits